Movie Review – Bullet Train


A Thief, an Assassin, a couple of Hitmen, a Cartel Enforcer and the son of a Yakuza head all board the same bullet train heading to Kyoto… you might think that sounds like the lead in for some dark comedy and you would be pretty close. Bullet Train is not your normal Brad Pitt film with a fairly all star cast and the director of Deadpool 2, Atomic Blonde (and Producer of John Wick) this still makes all the right stops.

Ok so where to begin, Bullet Train is an all in one night story which begins when we meet Joe Black aka Ladybug who has been hired to recover a briefcase off a bullet train in Japan. Ladybug having famously known for his bad luck fills in on a job for Carter who is the worst. Mostly because the briefcase that is to be recovered is actually belonging to train enthusiast Paperboy aka Lemon and his brother Quicksilver aka Tangerine who are currently in the process of delivering the son of the Russian head of the Yakuza (yes that is right) back to him after a kidnapping.

Does that feel like a spoiler? Have we said too much? No because this is a little over 2 hour long movie and we just gave you possibly the opening 5-10 minutes. Matter of fact if you do need to go pee you may have wanted to use that because there will not be another opportunity.

Based on a Japanese novel ‘Maria Beetle’ the story is adapted the film is almost entirely set on the Japanese highspeed rail of the same name usually 16 carriages long, carrying upwards of 1,300 passengers and capable of getting up to speeds of 145km/s. The trains which run 3 minutes apart also make stops of 1 minute precision as not to hold up the line. Because learning is fun.

Beginning with a setup that reminds us a little of Smoking Aces with a train full of killers and criminals Bullet Train does it’s best Snatch impression to tie these random characters together before it arrives as the final stop. If this was a Deadpool movie you could say you get frequent visits from the exposition fairy, while it is not if you are a fan of Deadpool’s level of bloody violence you are definitely going to enjoy as the film escalates from small fight scenes in compact surroundings to you didn’t see that coming level of action (and at a level you would expect from a producer of the John Wick series)

So should you go see it? As mentioned if you are a fan of Deadpool and don’t need every film you watch to be a Marvel tie-in there is a lot to love about this film. Definitely with grounding as a dark comedy the level of action here is great with unexpected moments coming pretty fast towards the end. In a year that has brought us some pretty great standalone films this one definitely earns your attention to get to a cinema and see if you can.

Bullet Train arrives in cinemas across Australia August 4th

Story and Characters
Visuals and Effects
Enjoyment Factor
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movie-review-bullet-trainA little dark, with a lot of action and a huge list of names this is definitely not a formula that can be repeated as a franchise but we love a good one and done story, and if you saw the last film that Brad Pitt appeared (no not the one from Deadpool 2 , but...) in there is definitely some entertaining meta-cameos in here too. Basically, if you wished John Wick was a little more Deadpool'ish make sure you put this on your watch list. P.S. You don't have to stay until the end of the credits but don't get up from your seat straight away because you need to know what happened 10 minutes earlier.